“Wait! They are my manager?”
Managing isn’t just for managers.
Matter of fact, at some point in your career, you have come across managers who manage, managers who lead, some who balance both, and likely some who do neither. For that latter group, it might be mind boggling to you. You know the skills and competencies that show up on every job description for a manager: communication, adaptability, organization, strategic thinking, data-driven, process improvement, resource allocation, and so on and so forth. But while you’ve been honing your skills, preparing for the next steps on your career journey, and growing your capacity, you keep running into people who seem to have skipped the honing, preparing, and growing and seemingly out of nowhere, just became a manager. And now, they are your manager.
So, what do you do? Stay out of the way? Focus on your own work? Vent to colleagues? Manage up?
Let’s explore a real life situation: You’re working under a manager who isn’t a strong leader–someone who struggles to communicate, inspire, or build trust. Maybe they are new to their role and fail to recognize the expertise of their team. Maybe they are new to the organization and want to recreate their previous workplace such as saying, “In my previous organization, we did X, Y, and Z. We are going to do the same here.” You know what good leadership looks like, but you’re not getting it from the person(s) leading you.
Why is this happening? Why does this keep happening?
Promotion isn’t preparation. Organizations often elevate top performers into management without ensuring they’re ready to lead people.
Knowledge isn’t practice. Many managers know what to do but don’t know how to do it. They haven’t internalized what it means to apply the skills with empathy and purpose.
So, before you burn out and burn it down–or just disengage and become resentful, here are some things you can do instead to stay rooted…
Leverage these skills and behaviors as you manage where you are “planted”:
MODEL the leadership you wish you had. If you value transparency, be transparent. If you crave clarity, be clear. Show others what steady, thoughtful leadership looks like in everyday interactions: how to disagree respectfully, how to make decisions thoughtfully, and how to keep momentum.
COMMUNICATE with clarity. When others are vague or inconsistent, you can still be precise and intentional. Summarize decisions, confirm understanding, and set expectations for your own work. Clarity is contagious; it steadies teams when direction feels uncertain.
Offer SUPPORT. Support isn’t about rescuing; it’s about reinforcing. Ask teammates what they need, listen for what isn’t being said, and fill small gaps that make big differences. Sometimes leadership is as simple as creating calm amid confusion.
RECOGNIZE/Share credit. Recognition is free, but its impact is priceless. Amplify others’ contributions–especially when leadership overlooks them. Sharing credit fosters trust, diffuses tension, and shifts culture from competition to collaboration.
COACH peers. Coaching isn’t hierarchy–it’s humility. Ask thoughtful questions, give feedback when invited, and help others problem-solve rather than solving for them. Peer coaching grows collective confidence and strengthens the team’s leadership.
SEEK out mentors. Look across departments, outside the organization, or even in professional networks. Mentorship expands perspective and offers balance.
SHOW UP the way you want to be. Your presence as you enter meetings, handle stress, and treat others sets a tone. Even in environments that lack strong leadership, consistency in how you show up builds credibility and influence. Over time, people respond not just to what you do but to who you are.
Leadership isn’t a title; it’s a choice. This is not a new idea, but perhaps it can be a new approach for you. You can lead from where you are, protect your own growth, strengthen your team, and quietly shift culture around you.
Empower, enable, and equip your team to manage–with or without a manager.
As always, this section is about unlocking/disrupting your thinking.. As you read, think about the ways in which your current models of leadership transitions are serving (or not serving) you well!
When You Know Better: A Tale of Management
When Lindsey and Marcus left their high rise in the city for a cottage in the country, they imagined towering trees instead of looming buildings, singing birds instead of honking horns, and bright flowers instead of bright lights. When October came, bringing leaves of brilliant reds, golden amber, and sun-kissed oranges, they marveled at what nature created that they had missed for so many years.
If they had listened closely, they might have heard what whispered in the wind.
“Look at them. So beautiful,” remarked Aspen.
“They don’t even know,” responded Maple.
“Maybe they didn’t know, but they know now,” corrected Oak.
Aspen and Maple stood quietly; they knew Oak was right. They had seen it all before. Generation after generation. Year after year. Humans in awe of what came to the trees naturally. Aspen always loved their innocence and amazement, their wonderment like children no matter their age. Maple was always surprised at what they didn’t know. How many seasons did they have to live or movies did they have to see? But Oak, Oak always just knew and knew their leaves wouldn’t be the only change of the season.
“They know the beauty in this moment. Time will tell if patterns hold true.” Oak opined.
Days grew darker; wind colder; and the colors began to fade.
Lindsey and Marcus saw the beautiful colors that adorned the trees begin to blanket the ground and turn brown. The beauty faded in their eyes, and all that remained was a mess. Determined to bring order to their space, they raked tirelessly, bagged leaves by the wheelbarrow, dragged them to compost piles, swept paths until their country trails resembled the concrete city sidewalks.
Aspen became upset. “What are they doing?”
“They don’t know,” offered Maple.
“We have more to offer,” Oak reminded them. “All of our leaves aren’t gone. We aren’t finished. The soil needs us. The young roots need us. The earthworms, millipedes, and beetles hiding beneath the surface need us. We will provide.”
And they did. The wind blew, and their leaves flew. They swayed, quivered, and shook their leaves loose, which soon covered the ground again.
Lindsey and Marcus were discouraged but determined and went to work again. This time with reinforcements. There was a leaf blower to move them and a leaf vacuum to remove all traces. When they finished their work, they leaned back in their Adirondack chairs. The land was clear. It was quiet as the sun began to set on their hard work. It was the peace they had always wanted. Then, they saw a fleck of gold drifting, swirling and twirling, floating slowly down, down, landing in their yard. They exchanged a tired, knowing glance. And decided to leave it.
Aspen, Myrtle, and Oak continued to drop their gifts to the ground.
Lindsey and Marcus ignored the trees, the yard, the mess and decided to focus on their flower beds instead. They removed dead annuals, trimmed their perennials, and removed damaged portions. Then, Betty, their neighbor, strolled by. “You know those leaves would make good mulch for those beds.”
Lindsey and Marcus paused and shared another wordless exchange.
“That’s helpful!” Marcus shouted. “We had no idea.”
The trees watched as Lindsey and Marcus got to work collecting the leaves, this time for purpose not disposal. They gathered the leaves, gently this time, spreading them beneath the flowers instead of bagging them up. The air felt different–softer, more forgiving. Oak rustled approvingly in the fading light, his voice deep and steady.
“The roots will remember.”
Apply the Learning - A Case Study: The Floor at Linden & Co.
Linden & Co. was a mid-sized retail store known for its curated home goods—candles, ceramics, textiles—all displayed with an effortless elegance. Customers often said the store felt “like calm you could walk into.” Its flagship location, nestled in a thriving downtown district, was the company’s pride and test site for new products and policies.
When Carla arrived as the new store manager, she brought with her a reputation for precision. After years in large national retail chains, she was known for streamlining operations and producing measurable results. Her approach was methodical, data-informed, and focused on consistency. She believed that strong systems made strong teams.
On her first walk-through, Carla noticed small deviations from the corporate visual standards—display blankets folded at uneven angles, products slightly out of alignment, backroom bins labeled by hand instead of printed labels. Within days, she implemented new protocols: every shelf measured, every display photographed, every process documented. Employees were given checklists for opening, mid-day resets, and closing.
Under Carla’s leadership, operational efficiency improved quickly. Inventory audits were flawless, restocking was faster, and her reports to regional leadership reflected strong compliance. But customer feedback began to shift subtly. Shoppers mentioned that while the store looked beautiful, it “felt a little colder.”
Most employees adapted quickly, though one in particular—Andre, a senior associate who had been with Linden & Co. for nearly a decade—stood out. Andre was quiet, observant, and widely respected by the staff. New employees often sought him out when they had questions about customer interactions or product stories. He never challenged Carla’s new systems, and in fact, followed them carefully. But after closing each evening, Andre would make small adjustments: a candle slightly turned, a stack of towels refolded with a looser drape, a chair angled toward the front door.
He never announced what he was doing, nor did he ask for permission. The team noticed, though, and often mirrored his behavior—small gestures that restored the warmth and character the store had been known for.
One evening, after closing, Carla lingered to finish reports. Through the office window, she saw Andre quietly moving through the aisles. His motions were deliberate but calm, as if tending rather than correcting. She didn’t interrupt.
The next day’s sales were the highest in weeks. Customer comments returned to the familiar language—“warm,” “inviting,” “peaceful.” When Carla asked the team what might have changed, Andre simply said, “Sometimes the room needs to breathe a little.”
Case Study Questions:
What leadership qualities does Andre demonstrate through his quiet influence?
How might Carla’s structured approach both help and hinder the store’s culture?
What could Carla learn from Andre—and what could Andre learn from Carla?
How can leaders recognize and value contributions that don’t fit traditional measures of performance or visibility?
What does this case suggest about balancing systems with authenticity in leadership?
That’s it for us this month! See you next month!!!
